God Did Not Give Up on Them
“How much is too much? When should we say, enough, I’m done?”
I was asked those questions recently by a friend who had been let down by his chronic relapsing relative. His relative had failed a drug test. This was not the first time, or even the tenth time, that his relative had promised to abstain from drugs and alcohol only to be caught returning to his addiction.
“I am out of patience with him and with his lies. I want to tell him I’m finished.”
I didn’t have an answer for my friend. I couldn’t tell him how much was too much or when it is okay to tell a struggler that you are done with him.
I did, however, think about an incident when the people of God relapsed into idolatry.
Deuteronomy 9:13-29 recounts an amazing moment in history. The God of heaven and earth had come down to Mt. Siani and met there with Moses. The LORD entered into a covenant with his people in which he bound himself to be faithful to them, to love them, and to care for them. Then, with his own hand, he put in writing the terms of that covenant by which the people were to live.
He did not write on flimsy parchment, but on stone, so that it would endure for all generations. He wrote the Ten Commandments, which instructed the people on how to live because of the covenant faithfulness and loving kindness of God. He graciously gave them these commands, which showed them how to act in answer to him so that when they obey his commands, follow his ways, walk in his path, and keep covenant with him, it may go well for them and for their children.
While Moses was on Mt. Siani having this only-time-in-history encounter with the Living God in which he received the law for how God’s people should live, the people were at the foot of the mountain rushing headlong into idolatry. Aaron fashioned a calf from gold to be their god. The people celebrated their new deity with a drunken orgy.
God’s initial response was to “destroy them and blot out their name from under heaven” (Deut. 9:14). He was angry with their sin. Being frustrated with a chronic relapser is understandable. But that is not where the story ended.
In Chapter 10 Moses showed that God had, despite being provoked to anger by the people’s relapse into Egyptian-style idolatry, remained faithful and continued in lovingkindness toward them.
At that time the LORD said to me, “Cut for yourself two tablets of stone like the first, and come up to me on the mountain and make an ark of wood, And I will write on the tablets the words that were on the first tables that you broke and you shall put them in the ark. (Deut. 10:1-2).
This is a high moment that shows the character of God toward his people. He did not destroy them. He did not abandon them. He did not give up on them. “The second writing of the law and the gift of the tablet is indicative of the graciousness of God and the response of God to the intercession of Moses” (P.C. Craige, The Book of Deuteronomy, 200). The people had turned away from God, but he turned toward them. The people broke the covenant, he renewed it. We may fail and give up on God, but he never gives up on his people.
Though many of the men in our mentoring and Seminary-in-Prison programs have come to faith since being incarcerated, a large percentage grew up in churches and professed faith as young men. Some were even ministry leaders before turning to sin, committing their crimes, and being sent to prison. They commonly experienced being ostracized from their former communities. Friends and family said, “Enough. I’m done.”
But God did not give up on them. Even though they were unfaithful to him and turned to sin, God remained faithful to them. Prison razor wire does not keep out the Holy Spirit and he continues to pursue his covenant children.
So, how much is too much? Where is the limit that is as far as we need to go with friends and family who are chronic relapsers? I didn’t have an answer for my friend. I don’t know if I can answer those questions. What I do know is that God did not give up his covenant people way back then, he has not given up on my prisoner friends, and he has not given up on me.
Much love, Barry