A Prayer for My Heart
Jogging at the track at the local high school, I had just made the turn onto the back straightaway for the third time when my phone rang. The caller ID said it was the cardiologist’s office. The day before I’d been at the hospital for a stress test and had left there feeling rather good about myself.
The nurse who administered the treadmill part of the test had complimented me on my fitness. “You did as well as the young bucks who come in here for clearance to enter the police and fire academies” she’d said. “Not bad for a 65-year-old,” I’d thought.
The doctor had said he didn’t expect to find anything concerning from the test. I was a new patient and he’d ordered the test just to get a full picture of my condition. I have a heart murmur that requires annual monitoring. “We’ll just plan on seeing you back in the office in a year,” he’d said. So, I was surprised by the call.
I slowed my jog to a walk and answered the call. It was the doctor’s nurse. “The doctor got the report from your stress test and he’d like you to come to the office to see him tomorrow.” That sounded ominous.
“Well,” the doctor said the next day, “I was surprised.” None of the other tests they’d done on me showed anything troubling. However, as the exercise intensity increased during the stress test the pumping efficiency of my heart dropped considerably. The most likely cause, the doctor said, is blockage in one or more of the heart arteries.
Later this week I’ll go to the hospital for an angioscopy in which a flexible scope will be inserted in an artery so they can get a look at the arteries around my heart. If they find a blockage, they’ll insert one or more stints. If there is a larger blockage then I’ll have surgery. I was advised to bring an overnight bag, just in case.
As you can probably imagine, for the past week I’ve been thinking about hearts. I confess that every time I’ve felt a little twinge in my chest I’ve thought, “Uh oh, is this the big one?” But more than physical hearts, I’ve been thinking about spiritual hearts. The Bible has a lot to say about hearts. C. Ryder Smith wrote, “The heart does not altogether lose its physical reference, for it is made of flesh, but it is the seat of the will, of the intellect, and of feeling. This means that ‘heart’ comes the nearest of the [Bible’s] terms to mean ‘person.’”
God knows the heart of everyone and is not fooled by outward appearances (1 Sam. 16:7). A worthy prayer is to ask God to search the heart (Ps. 139:23) and make it clean (Ps. 51:10). A wicked person needs a new heart (Ezk. 18:31) and then God writes his law on the heart (Jer. 31:33).
It is the pure in heart who shall see God (Matt. 5:8) and it is because Jesus dwells in our hearts by faith that we are rooted and grounded in love (Eph. 3:17). And because it is from the heart that springs of life flow, we must keep our heart with all vigilance (Prov. 4:23).
So while I do hope the procedure this week shows that my physical heart is fine, my earnest prayer is God will give the grace to keep my spiritual heart where it needs to be, turned toward him, filling up with his love, a love that then flows out to others.
Much love, Barry